If the election were a sporting event, we'd all be laughing

It’s common to compare elections to a “horse race,” but this election is different. If the 2020 presidential contest were a sporting event what would it look like?

Pretty damn weird.

Imagine, for example, that it mattered whether a football team refused to concede after losing on a controversial call. In the NFC Championship Game a couple of years ago, New Orleans Saints fans were livid that the Los Angeles Rams won after officials missed what appeared to be a blatant case of pass interference.

This isn’t like that. This is like a team that lost by two touchdowns refusing to accept the result of a game in which there were zero controversial calls. Or maybe an illegal procedure penalty in the first quarter that had no bearing on the outcome. People commiserated with Saints fans, but they’d laugh at a team like this.

Now imagine that, after the game ended, a number of team owners took issue with the result — owners whose teams weren’t on the field and had no direct say in the outcome. But that didn’t matter. The lawsuit filed by Texas and other states challenging the votes in Wisconsin, Georgia, Pennsylvania, and Michigan is like that.

Imagine of the Dallas Cowboys wanted to overturn the result of a game the Rams lost because they owners were friends.

But not just that: The owner insists the scoreboard was wrong, and that instead of the Bears winning 24-10, it was the Rams who had won 24-10. Now imagine, for the sake of argument, that the scoreboard has long since gone dark, so there’s no video to check how the game actually played out. But because there were more Bears fans at the stadium (big rallies!) and they were yelling louder, that must mean Chicago won the game!

(Of course, it might not mean that at all.)

But because the owners have money and clout, they’re able to make their case to the commissioner, regardless of any player agreements, contracts, rulebooks, or anything else. Regardless, even, of voting rights laws or constitutions.

In any game, hometown fans might love it if the refs threw a penalty flags on every play — at first. But it would get boring after a while, because most fans want to see action. They’d rather see a circus catch at the 1-yard line than a penalty flag thrown for pass interference. Besides, no matter how partisan they are, most fans want their teams to win fair and square: to prove they’re legitimately better on the field.

Vince Lombardi has been quoted as saying that “winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” This election is very much like that.

Lombardi’s Green Bay Packers won the first two Super Bowls fair and square, but his team didn’t even qualify for the third one. He didn’t cry about it or appeal to the commissioner to change the outcome.

He accepted the results and tried to do better next time.

Unlike the loser of this election.

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Featured photo: Marching band performs at Super Bowl I at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, 1967, by Jimberg13, Creative Commons 4.0