Introverts and extroverts at the next level: headspacers and embracers

You’ve probably seen a lot online about extroverts and introverts: outgoing sorts who like dealing with people and those who prefer to keep to themselves. But for many of us, the distinction goes deeper: It goes beyond merely dealing with people and extends to the world at large.

I call environmental introverts “headspacers,” because they spend most of their time inside their own heads, as opposed to “embracers” who welcome the outside world.

Embracers are outward-focused, not just when it comes to people, but when it comes to their whole environment and life in general. They’re comfortable in their world and enjoy relating to it. They feel they belong there.

Embracers love to live in the moment, and they find joy in a baby’s laughter or the crisp air of an autumn day. It’s not that headspacers don’t appreciate these things. They do — when they happen to notice them, which isn’t nearly as often.

That’s because headspacers live in their own head. They’ve got a reputation as “absent-minded professors,” but they’re not forgetful in the traditional sense. They just have different priorities. Because embracers are so attuned to their environment, they’ll remember to water the lawn, file papers neatly in filing cabinets, turn out lights when they leave a room, and perform all manner of routine tasks that constitute everyday life.

Headspacers, on the other hand, are so busy plotting their next big project — or projects — that they’ll leave lights on, let the grass grow, leave the stove on, and let papers pile up on their desk without a second thought. Their rooms will be a mess and will stay that way until it becomes unbearable to them. At that point, cleaning it all up will become a big project in its own right and will seize them by the throat and force them to pay attention.

Sometimes.

While headspacers are often oblivious to their environment, they can become extremely irritable if their environment intrudes on their thought process. A loud barking dog, the untimely call of nature, or an insistent knock at the door can bring out their grouchy side at a moment’s notice if they’re in the middle of ruminating on some intractable problem.

Phone trees and red tape

Don’t even get me started on phone calls. Being forced to interact using the phone — whether calls are incoming or outgoing — is the bane of a headspacer’s existence. Headspacers refuse to answer unrecognized numbers as a matter of course, and sometimes don’t answer calls from people they know if they’re too deep inside their own heads. Put them on an outgoing call that requires them to navigate an automated phone tree, and it will drive them up the wall.

“Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed.”

They don’t want to listen closely. They just want to be done with whatever task needs to be performed so they can dive back into the important stuff swirling around between their ears.

This isn’t to say that embracers love phone trees or telemarketers. Clearly, they don’t. There are some things so obnoxious that no one likes them; it’s just that headspacers have even less tolerance for them than others might.

Headspacers don’t tend to like paperwork, either. Red tape is the height of tedium to them; they’d rather be exploring the meaning of life than trying to decipher bureaucratic B.S.

Different strengths

Headspacers, like introverts, don’t do well at parties. But it’s not just because they want to avoid people. They find so much stimulation disconcerting. They seldom stop focusing on what’s going on inside, because even when they’re encountering the world around them, they’re analyzing it in an attempt to deal with it effectively. If there’s too much going on, it can be like a wave of loud static interfering with the reception or reality that they’re screening inside their brains.

Headspacers tend to be smarter, not necessarily because they’re naturally that way, but because they work at it. Embracers, on the other hand, tend to be happier — and often enough, they don’t have to work at it. They embrace the world around them and drink it in, whereas headspacers only peek their head out on occasion to see whether anything’s changed, like a prairie dog or a dolphin coming up for air.

Headspacers may feel more comfortable “on the inside” because they don’t trust the world around them, in much the same way introverts don’t trust the people around them. They may have withdrawn into themselves not just because they find their inner workings more interesting than the outside world, but safer too.

That’s not to say headspacers never interact with the world around them. They just prefer to bring the world to them, rather than venturing out into it. They’re most comfortable with elements of their environment that they can pull inside their own minds, like a good book or their favorite music. They also tend to enjoy observing things, even as they maintain a distance, so they can gather and internalize information.

Embracers, even if they’re not extroverts (though the two tend to go together) don’t analyze the world around them as much as they experience it. This can give them a more direct understanding of things, and a more intuitive grasp on life that enables them to react quickly to situations around them. Headspacers, meanwhile, need time to process everything they’ve taken in, so they may hesitate and miss opportunities rather than seizing the day.

Embracers and headspacers can be good for each other: Embracers can pull headspacers out of their internal thought maze and headspacers can help embracers think about life a little more deeply. If they’re not careful, they can get on each other’s nerves. Still, if each learn to recognize and value what the other brings to the table, they can not only coexist, but thrive in this inside-out world of ours.

Stephen H. Provost is the author of more than 40 books, all of which are available on Amazon. As you might have guessed, he’s also a headspacer, which is part of the reason he’s been able to write 40 books.