Jon Gruden resigned as the coach of the Las Vegas Raiders after a series of emails in which he used bigoted, sexist, and homophobic language to denigrate a union representative, the NFL commissioner, and Joe Biden, among others.

The language was shocking, and any employer with an ounce of decency would be horrified at the prospect of being represented in such a way.

ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith was emphatic: “Jon Gruden’s career is over. It’s over.”

But then he said something I found simply unbelievable: “I cannot imagine even a white male with influence and connections and some degree of power that can overcome what The New York Times reported and what we all now know.”

What planet has Stephen A. Smith been living on?

Maybe he’s forgotten that in 2014, an NFL investigation found that a white male by the name of Richie Incognito was responsible for bullying teammate Jonathan Martin to such an extent that he quit the team. Incognito plays offensive guard, and that’s fitting because his behavior is pretty damned offensive.

His bullying included words worse than anything Gruden uttered. And they included threats of violence. One of Incognito’s texts to Martin referred to Martin’s sister: “She loves me. I’m going to f—k her without a condom and c-m in her c-nt.”

That’s on top of racist statements Incognito reportedly made about Asian Americans, as well as degrading, homophobic taunts in emails to Martin calling him a c—t, p—sy, and f---got.

Guess what? As of 2021, Incognito was still playing football in the NFL, for the same Raiders team coached until this week by Jon Gruden. Imagine that.

Jonathan Martin’s active NFL career ended (you guessed it) in 2014.

Words and deeds

Was Stephen A. Smith simply ignorant? Or did he fail to recognize a fundamental divide in our country today: one in which offensive words are punished, but offensive actions are often swept under the rug. One where bigoted words are condemned (and rightfully so), but bigoted actions are allowed to stand – and sometimes even rewarded – when they’re backed by bullying and threats?

I was taught that physical violence, and the threat of physical violence, was far worse than offensive words. One might be cruel, but the other was illegal.

It seems, however, that this principle no longer applies in modern America. After all, we were led for four years by a man who took bigotry, misogyny, and other forms of putrid, abhorrent behavior to a new level by making it the platform of a major political party. Here’s a guy who bragged about grabbing women by the p—sy, defended monuments to slavery, and tried to incite a riot to overturn an election.

This was a white male, to use Stephen A. Smith’s words, “with influence and connections and some degree of power.”

And money. You can’t forget that.

Jon Gruden had money and power. He had influence and connections. He’s a white male. But he got shown the door faster than Tyreek Hill can run the 40-yard dash.   

So what’s the difference between Jon Gruden and Richie Incognito? Between Jon Gruden and Donald Trump.

Gruden isn’t a bully. The other two are.

Logs and specks

We reward bullies in this country, no matter how bigoted, sexist, homophobic, or vile they are. We reward them. We either give them a pass or a pat on the back. Then we make people like Gruden sacrificial lambs to make ourselves feel like we’re enlightened and don’t condone “that kind of behavior.”

None of this is to condone Gruden’s talk or suggest he should still be coaching the Raiders. But we’re giving people life sentences for misdemeanors and rewarding felonies with attaboys.

There’s a saying attributed to Jesus in the Gospel of Luke that many misunderstand: “Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to notice the beam in your own eye? How can you say, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while you yourself fail to see the beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.…”

What people miss about this is that the speck is eventually removed — but this can only be done by someone who sees clearly because they aren’t trying to look through a log across their face!

When it comes to offensiveness, Gruden is the speck. Trump and Incognito are the logs in our eyes.

If we try to remove the specks while ignoring the logs, we’ll remain as blind as ever. Racism, sexism, homophobia, and every other kind of bigotry will remain just fine and dandy as long as they’re accompanied by threats and bullying.

That’s what Stephen A. Smith was missing. I don’t blame him, really. The log’s been in all of our eyes for so long that even people who usually see clearly can miss something. It can be incognito, so to speak — even when it’s right in front of their face.

Stephen H. Provost spent more than 30 years as a journalist covering sports, politics, and other issues at daily newspapers. He is the author of books on these and a range of other topics, all of which are available on Amazon.